Dating vs Courtship... whats the difference?

Week 5 Dating and Courtship and Your Future Relationship

 So this week we talked a lot about preparing for Marriage. I guess you could say that this is the stage my life is in right now, so I find it rather interesting. I think that its important to note not only the different stages of relationships, but also how we become attatched.

As far as everyone's love live's go,  there is 1) Dating, 2) Courtship 3) Engagement 4) Marriage.

I think much of today's relationship problems start out right in the beginning. I had a discussion with my professor and some other classmates about this. It seems that now a days people confuse Dating and Courtship with one another. Dating is to go out with people to get to know them and get to know what you want. Dating is not something that is exclusive to one person. Its something that can be very beneficial, because the more dating you do, the more you can learn about yourself, and what you want in a future relationship.

However, the problem has arisen that people think of dating as something quite exclusive between two people. I would like to correct everyone and state that once it becomes exclusive between a couple, they are not in stage of dating, but a stage of courtship.

So why would it matter? Well besides the fact that you're depriving yourself of various valuable experiences with different people, we should look at how people fall in Love, or become attached to one another.

In the RAM Attachment Model, there are 5 categories: 1)Know, 2)Trust, 3)Rely, 4)Commit, & 5)Touch.

It is important that each of us understands that from 1-5 as far as steps advance and such, 1 should always be at a higher level than 2. 2 Higher than 3 and so on. That means that physical touch, or sexual intimacy should be the lowest in comparison to the rest. I relate this because when an are out of balance, problems can occur. The more out of balance it is (the more advanced steps you do without their predecessors) the more you will be thinking emotionally - and the harder it will be to think clearly.

That is why it is so important, for example, with Dating vs. Courtship that we do not mistake the two. Dating helps us to get to know someone, and surely you must know them more before you can put trust in them.

I believe that all of this is important to take into consideration because the patterns we establish in Dating and Courtship will determine the quality of our marriages and lives.

So take care of what you do. Dont go to fast, but do all things in the right order.