Receiving and Dealing with Conflict

Week 9

I loved this week in class! Ironically I had been having some pretty serious problems with one of my roommates this week (all is resolved now though :) ) mainly because of poor communication. And that is exactly what we covered this week! Don't you love it when that happens?

I have mentioned in previous blog posts the importance of communication. I believe that most of the contention that occurs in any social interaction comes often from miscommunications.

We all need to be clear - we need to express ourselves in clear respectful manners with whomever we interact. Lately I have been trying to figure out how to be less passive and more assertive in situations - and I think something that is so important to remember is that 1) You should be respectful 2) You have the right to be shown respect.

If we let something eat us up inside and don't say anything to the offender, is it really right to wait until we blow up at them? No! Of course not. Not only is this an unpleasant experience for both parties, but it is incredibly ineffective. I mean, how well do you communicate when you are in freak-out-mode? Not very.

Instead, something that I find to be effective, is if something bothers you, and you don't think that you can control yourself in the moment. You don't have to.  You don't have to address it until you are cooled down, and that is perfectly fine. Stupid things happen when people react to things.

We are meant to act, not be acted apon.

This is an eternal principle.

I also think it is important to make a sincere and honest effort to see and understand the other person's perspective. When this happens you may have an increase of love and appreciation for them and their views. I believe that every argument has some degree of truth in it - I mean if it were all completely false, there would be nothing to argue would there? It's for us though to discern  what is the true principles and what is human error.

There is a scripture that I believe is a wonderful example. It is piece of scripture from the Latter-day Saint faith:

" Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterward an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death." (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43-44)

I think that this scripture is a perfect model because, when looking at the definitions for the vocabulary used, the model given is this:

1- Correct or encourage betimes (at the appropriate time) with sharpness (precision/clarity/directness)

2 - when moved upon by the Holy Ghost (not just because of your pride, or anything like that, but when you feel truly impressed to act - in love, not anger)

3 - Show an increase of love toward him. (I believe this is mentioned because we should still love the individual. We don't have to approve of all behaviors or actions, but we should love the person.)

I just love this because in the end we are promised stronger bonds and friendships -- to know that our love is stronger than death.