Important points in preparing for marriage

Week 6 Marriage

In my last entry I talked exclusively about courtship and dating. This week we talked about Engagement & Marriage. I will share with you some things that I found particularly interesting and valuable.

There was a comment made that said:

"A lot of people spend more time planning the wedding than planning the marriage."

I feel like this statement is oh-too-sadly true. Especially in today's generation of instant gratification and impulsiveness it is too tempting to not discuss real issues or dynamics that will be essential in a marriage.

We talked about how you shouldn't wait until you're married to discuss your lifetime goals with your spouse. I think this is especially important because if left unattended to, both members of the couple could find themselves in severe conflict and disappointment after the big day. An example would be the number of children, when to have them, how to discipline etc. As well as financial discussions. (Note: a major influence in divorces today is related to finances)

Not only is it important to take care of one another and talk things out as a couple before you're married - but continue courtship and making sure that you separate yourselves as you're own family is essential for marital success as well. The in-laws can love each member of this new family, but its so important for the couple to establish themselves as their own unit, their own family to make decisions and grow together  and not with the nosy mother-in-law.

I also mentioned continued courtship. This is something that I have witnessed lacking in my own family & I know how it can negatively affect a child's perspective. This is something quite dear to me, so I will just leave you with one citation from my notes that I thought particularly inspiring:

" The quality between the relationship of Husband and Wife will determine how high a family can rise."

So please take this in consideration as a family, whatever level of progress you are in, and apply it. Your life will be so much better for it.